i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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