I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
