i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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