id be glad to
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
