Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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