I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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