you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
