she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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