from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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