I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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