OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
