it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
