We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
