when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
