I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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