Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
