Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
