I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I cut my penus on the lid.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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