mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
