let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize