is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
