no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize