His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
