it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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