i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
