I hate your face
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
