its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
