He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
