Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
