I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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