Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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