Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
