just tell him i said nine months
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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