Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
