My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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