If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
