In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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