Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We left an ass print on the piano.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize