Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
