yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My bed smells like the plague
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
