We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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