Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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