Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I cannot find my penis.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
