i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
