everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
