Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize