I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
