We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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