I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize