I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sorry about my life...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize