glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
