I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
