alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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