do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
