There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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