Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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