it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
