Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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