I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
