i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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