saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
not ubering you a puppy
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
