I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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