So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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