Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
