He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
