I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
