There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I know her cup size but not her name....
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
