I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
