Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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