I just pynch a tree in the face
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize