She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You may now shotgun with the bride
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
