okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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