i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
